Changes, like a new job or home or a new season for your kids, can be exciting but they can also be difficult. Even when a couple has received the very thing they wanted, such as a long-awaited child or retirement, they may experience feelings of loss and stress. Couples can feel unsettled by how different everything now feels. They may also be surprised by negative feelings regarding how life has changed. 

Each person experiences and responds to changes differently. During times of transition, couples naturally look to each other for support, safety, and a sense of certainty, sometimes unaware of their divergent experiences. When a spouse cannot meet the particular expectation for support or comfort, the other may feel deeply disappointed. The demands and unmet expectations can start to escalate conflicts in the relationship.   

This Toolkit shares ways to help couples navigate the stress of transition together, to build rather than rupture their bond. Though each type of transition will present different challenges, as a concrete example, we will use a case study where one spouse has recently retired. The guiding principles can transfer when contextualized to each couple.