Finding Peace During the Holidays

Sharon Richards

For many, holidays are a time of celebration and warm gatherings shared with loved ones. And for some, it’s also a time riddled with painful memories and heartaches. Because of the ups and downs of togetherness or the struggle with pain, we can easily get emotionally overwhelmed or even feel shut down. God made us with both body and soul. So, our emotions are not just an internal experience in our minds, but they are also a physical experience contained in our bodies. By engaging in physical experiences for our bodies, these exercises can help us better handle those moments when our emotions are overwhelmed.

TIPP skills are really helpful temporary ways of providing yourself with a reprieve from overwhelming emotions. They are designed to work with your nervous system to reduce the physical effects of emotional distress by changing or “tipping” your body chemistry.

It’s important to note that the physical effects of these exercises are very short-lived and won’t take the emotions away altogether. However, they help reduce the intensity to a level where you can use other skills (like communication or boundary setting) to address your needs.

T: Tipping the Temperature

Tipping the Temperature of your face with cold water or cold packs on the face, while holding your breath for 30 to 60 seconds (please consult your physician if you have a heart or breathing disorder).

Exercise options:

• Immerse your face in a bowl of cold water. Bend over, hold your breath, and put your face (up to your temples) in a bowl of cold water. The colder the water and the longer the immersion, the better it works. Just make sure that the water isn’t too cold.

• Use an Ice Pack, a Zip-Lock Bag of Ice with Water, or a Cold Wet Compress. Hold an ice pack or zip-lock bag (wrapped in a cloth to keep from being too cold) or cold compress over the eyes and upper cheeks and hold your breath.

• Splash Cold Water on the Face- repeatedly splash cold water on your eyes and cheeks while bending over and holding your breath.

I: Intense Aerobic Exercise

Intense aerobic exercise of any kind for 20 minutes if possible, but short bursts can also help.

Intense aerobic exercise is a versatile skill that can be used for a wide range of emotional states. If you are feeling hyperaroused or overstimulated, it can help you burn off excess energy. Conversely, if you are feeling low or lethargic, it can help boost your energy level.

Example: When at a holiday gathering, go outside for a brisk walk or run to decrease strong negative emotions before returning. If going out isn’t possible, go into another room and run in place, do jumping jacks, or intense silly dances for a short amount of time. This can calm your body down by using up the stored emotional energy.

P: Paced Breathing

Paced breathing refers to slowing down the rate of your inhale and exhale. Breathe in deeply from your belly and breathe out a little longer than you breathe in. Quieting yourself and connecting with the truth that your body is a God given resource for safety, that we honor Him as you release control to God. While you focus on your breath, rest in the knowledge that your body can nourish and ground you, as He designed it to do.

Example: Breathe in for 5 seconds (slowly inflating your belly as if it were a balloon) and out for 7 seconds (slowly deflating your belly).

P: Paired Muscle Relaxation

Paired muscle relaxation involves combining your paced breathing with tensing and relaxing your muscles. The strategy is to intentionally tense muscle groups while slowly breathing in, and then slowly relaxing them by letting go of the tension as you breathe out.

Example: As you breathe in make a fist, press your elbows to your torso, squeeze your shoulders to your ears, tightly shut your eyes, and scrunch up your face for 5 seconds, pause and slowly release the tension as you breathe out for 7 seconds.

While these skills help you temporarily regulate internal shifts in emotion, the practice of paying attention to your needs and body may help you be more mindful and compassionate to yourself on a daily basis. And may also help you connect with the peace of Christ this holiday season.

*TIPP is an exercise from the Distress Tolerance Module within Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)